Know what's really lame?

My hair.  

My hair is naturally super curly.  I have always hated it.  I don't hate curly hair in general, its just that I can never count on my hair to look good when I need it to.  If I straighten it, it looks good, but if I get sweaty or it rains or its foggy it will get so frizzy that I can't do anything to make it look ok again.  If I let it stay curly, it might look great, but it also might look like a freak show.  Can't predict which one will happen.  If I put it in a ponytail at any point during the day, it will totally mess up the back of my hair and leave a totally stupid looking dent in the curls.  This sucks, since I take care of babies and they will pull my hair unless I have it up.  

The second Christmas Brian and I were together he bought me a miracle.  I got my hair permanently straightened at a salon in Beverly Hills.  Its a special form of Japanese hair straightening developed by this guy Joe Kanno.  So Joe straightened my hair, even though I was convinced it would either all fall out, still look curly, be straight but look super damaged, or some other disaster would occur.  Yeah none of that happened.  My hair was straight, shiny, perfect looking.  Even the color looked new and better than ever before...and my hair was like 6 inches longer than it had been when it was curly.  When they sent me back to take off the robe thing I had been wearing, I looked in the mirror with my glasses on for the first time since they had straightened it and almost passed out.  I couldn't wash it for three days and it smelled like bacon, but I didn't care.  When I finally did wash it, I left it wet and just combed it, and it dried and looked perfect again.  Even better, it never got tangled, always looked perfect even if it rained, and didn't get dents in it if I had my hair up (or at least not as bad as before.)  Since the straightening was permanent, it stayed perfectly straight until it started to grow out, and even then it look pretty much straight, but the top of my head would get a little frizzy sometimes.  Barely anything compared to how it had been before.  After about 7 months I got it done again, and 7 months after that I got it done again.

I haven't gotten it done in a year and I think I am done with it.  This decision haunts me daily.  I decided to stop doing it because 

A. Its expensive, really expensive.

B. I will only let Joe do it and if we are moving to Oregon I don't really want to go to LA twice a year for the specific purpose of getting my hair straightened.  The Governator might go once a week, but he's the governator (yes, he goes to this specific salon once a week, and I have seen him while getting my hair done.)

C. Straight is awesome but it makes my hair REALLY straight.  As in, won't do anything at all except lay flat on the sides of my head looking nice and shiny but boring.  and flat.

D. Part of me feels like I'm living a lie and being someone I am not....walking around with straight hair makes me feel fake.  Not a lot, but a little bit.  If I had a daughter one day who had curly hair, I would feel bad that I was parading around as a straight haired person.  Its a thought that's way back in my head, but still.

So my hair has been growing out since last March and its doing weird stuff.  It pretty much still looks straight, which is crazy.  The new curly hair has grown down to about earlobe level, but the top still looks straight.  At the point where the new hair and old hair meet, there's a crazy weird triple dent.  That's the best way I can describe it.  It succeeds in making my hair look neither curly nor wavy....just messy.  I got 2 inches trimmed off the other day in the hopes that it would make the messy dent a bit more curly or wavy but it didn't.

That's about it, my hair is just lame.